Monday, December 08, 2008

What do you say?

I look forward to getting the mail during the Christmas season. I love to see everyone's family photos and read about their year. But, a card we got today made me cry. And since I'm so anxious to read all the cards, I was driving to the gym when I opened this wasn't my safest driving ever.

The card was from a friend who left her husband this year. The Colonel and I met this family (mom, dad, 2 kids) when we first moved to Texas right after we got married. We love them! We spent a lot of time with them over the years - holidays, vacations, backyard BBQs.

Over the summer, The Colonel got a call from the dad. He told us that he and the mom were getting a divorce. She had found someone else. Apparently, it had been going on for a while, but the parents (our friends) decided not to tell the kids until school let out for the summer. And the dad was giving the mom some time to come to her senses.

She never did. She moved out. Now, I only know half of the story, but the card we got today was from the mom. She said the kids are doing great and they have adjusted well to their "new situation." She also said the kids are "all fine."

How in the world can the kids be all fine?? She was so nonchalant about it. I don't know how to react. I don't want to abandon her, but I don't know how to react or what to say to her. I don't want the dad to think I'm siding with her, and I don't want things to be harder on their kids....what do I do??


Kiley said...

geeee... that is sad... if she claims to have a relationship with Christ - you should show her scripture. show her that she sinned and needs to repent.

i am so sorry this has been put upon you. pray and ask God to show you what you should do, and how to respond.

i hope your week goes well.... God Bless!

Jenn said...

I'm sure it makes her feel better about her choices to think that her kids are "all fine". If she realized they weren't then she would probably have to realize what SHE has caused. It's so hard to remain friends with someone who is making such horrible choices. I had a friend who was doing that and I finally had to let the friendship go. I hung in for years but just couldn't hang any longer after she continued and continued to make horrible mistakes and choices in her life. I think that you could try to continue the friendship but it will be hard if she doesn't realize the mistakes she has made. This is a tough one, especially since you are friends with her ex. I will pray that God gives you guidance on what is best for you to do.

Eliza said...

Tough call. I always try to love the person - even if they were the one who's fault it was. I never condone their behavior, but I try to be there for them when they need me and to speak to them in truth and love. So far, I've never regretted that decision.

Jody said...

Adults don't stop to think about what they do to their kids. Did she use the "find myself" line of crap? Ugh.

I wish I had words of advice but all I can say is give the dad a call and wish him Merry Christmas and let him know you are still his friend, too.

shell said...

wow. that really is a tough one. I agree with Jody, though. What a sticky situation to be in.

Love Bears All Things said...

This is always a shock when it happens to someone we know. I don't know what to tell you. Just pray for the whole familly.
Mama Bear

Laura said...

We have THREE sets of close friends going through this very thing right now which is freaking us out. We just keep praying that we'll be Godly friends to them...but what does that look like?! It's such a nightmare, especially for the kids...who are not "FINE". Sigh.

Chelf said...

Send cards to both friends... they are still both your friends, even if they are not together anymore.

I agree that the kids, while adjusting, are not "fine". They have been torn in two. However, if mom was not happy, and found someone else, things were not "fine" before, either. The kids, no matter how young, are not stupid. They will have the same questions you have about how to deal with the other parent.

Pray. I will be praying that the Spirit puts the correct words in your mouth when you need them.