what makes it worth it...

I'm exhausted.  I don't remember the last time I slept more than 90 minutes in a row.  My eyes burn constantly.  I survive on chocolate and caffeine (since being released to a regular diet after Sammy's colic treatments).  I'm irritable and not always nice.  I'm dread the nights b/c I know that Sam will wake up constantly.

But you know what? 

I know it's worth it (and I guess deep down I know it won't last forever).  You know why?  Because I have this awesome 2 1/2 year old who reminds me that the infant stage doesn't last forever (of course, it's followed by sometimes not fun times as a toddler). 

He is at this wonderful stage where he freely gives me giant hugs and tells me many times a day that he loves me (as he's doing right this minute as I try to type).  He climbs behind me in the chair and says he wants to rub my back because it hurts.  He tells me thank you, you're welcome, I'm sorry I hurt you, Mommy, and he "shakes his booty."

And then today, on our way home from playing with friends (9 boys and 2 girls between 5 moms...and 3 kids were missing!), I turned around and told him how proud I was of him for behaving so well while we were at our friend's house.  I told him thank you for obeying me and for being such a good boy.  And do you know what he said??  He told me, "thank you mom for taking me to play with my friends." 

Oh boy.  Stick a fork in me.  I'm done.  My boy is the BOMB!  Love you so much Little Major!

My New Baby

So, I was (hopefully) at the bottom of the barrel when I wrote my last post.  I was exhausted, frustrated, angry, and not feeling very loving or optimistic.  But, we seemed to have turned a corner.  Sam had a great 2 treatments at the end of the week, and he's been so much happier and not in pain. Praise the Lord!!

It's like we have a brand new baby in the house - one who doesn't cry constantly, isn't in pain, and smiles at us!  Woo hoo!  (Now, let's hope this keeps up!)

The doctor had told me that there would be ups and downs, but I never expected the "downs" to be so terrible.  I'm praying that there will only be "ups" from now on - and thankfully the chiro thinks that is the case. 

I went back to eating dairy, but I'm skipping the straight milk.  We'll see if I can tell a difference.  Sam has done so great the last 3 days that I'm not sure if it's the doctor, the milk, or both.  But, I'm hoping that this is our last week of treaments.  I'm SO ready to get our days back.  This week we have doctor's appointments every.single.day.  Four for Sam and one for me.  Not fun! 

It doesn't even feel like Christmas is coming b/c we've been so wrapped up in our craziness...but I'm ready to get into the spirit.  Mom and I are going to try to get some baking done tomorrow.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!  It helped me a lot!  Keep 'em coming! =)

6 weeks

Baby Sam is 6 weeks old today...and let me tell you, it's been a long 6 weeks!  All my confidence that I talked about in my previous post??  Well, it's left the building. 

Sam cries ALL THE TIME.  At 3 weeks old, he was diagnosed w/ colic...a condition I'd thought was completely made up until now.  At first with Major we were told he had colic, but he was later diagnosed w/ reflux, we got meds and life became pleasant.  I thought colic was a term doctors used when they didn't know what else to call it.

But, we've been seeing a chiropractor (which is much against what I normally would do) who claims to be able to cure colic.  We see the doctor 4 times a week for treatment - a treatment where he massages and puts pressure on Sam's belly in an effort to strengthen the valve between his small and large intestine.  We saw improvement almost immediately...but after a week or so, we were right back to square one.  Well, maybe not quite back to square one.  We aren't seeing as much colic (wailing scream of pain, hard tummy, and kicking feet and flailing hands), we think, but we are seeing a ton of crying.  Basically, Sam cries unless you're holding him.  And if he was my first, I'd be able to hold him almost all of the time, but I cna't do that w/ a 2 year old to take care of.  Not to mention that I don't want to miss a year of Major's life while I hold Sam.

I'm beginning to wonder if something else is going on w/ Sam.  Our chiro says babies cry for 2 reasons - they're hungry or they're uncomfortable.  So, if Sam is fed, changed, and not kicking w/ colic, what could possibly be wrong?? 

Another part of the colic treatment is a special (read: STUPID) diet for nursing moms.  It's a low protein, high carb, no seasoning, no caffeine, no carbonation, no chocolate no red meat no fruits or veggeis COMPLETELY UNHEALTHY diet.  I've been on it for almost 3 weeks, and I'm pretty much dying.  All I can think about is coffee or diet coke, with a big fat cheeseburger as a close second.  The theory is that this diet helps the baby heal from colic more quickly by producing less gas.  Dairy is allowed - so my diet has been made up of cheese, milk, vanilla ice cream, bread, butter, and chicken.  BUT, since we still have the crying bouts, my mom thought Sam might have an allergy to milk.  So, as of yesterday, I've also cut out dairy.  Oi.  What is there to eat????

I know I'm whining here, and yes, I'm skeptical about this path we're going down, but we were ready to try anything.  I've about decided that I just dont produce easy babies.  At least this all confirms that we're done with 2!!

If you don't hear from me for a year, I'm holding a crying baby...but he is pretty cute!