Thursday, July 31, 2008

Practice makes perfect...right??!

I'm "practicing" today. For my new job. That starts next Tuesday. That I'm dreading.

I have to be at my new job at 7am. That in itself sucks. But beyond that, I have to get myself up, get my child up, fed, and ready to go by 6:15 am so that I can drop him off at child care (where ever that is, more on that in a minute) at 6:30 and be at work by 7am. What am I thinking??

So, today, I practiced. I set my alarm for 5am, which I didn't need because I'd pretty much been up since 2:30am, got up, got myself ready, and then I had to wake up the poor munchkin at 5:45am to change and feed him. He was hungry, but he wasn't ready to wake up. Since mom came over to help, I didn't have to dress him or put him in his car seat. I just let him go back to bed. See, I've been wishing for him to sleep more at night...and now he finally is (11-12 hours with a feeding or 2 thrown in), and he doesn't get up until 7 or 8am...and NOW, I'm forcing him to wake up early. Poor guy.

Anyway, I was ready on time, I even had time to pump, and I walked out the door yawning at 6:30am. I drove the 10+ miles to my new company, witnessed umpteen million stupid drivers doing idiotic things in this fluke fog we're having (I have NOT missed the Wichita drivers these last 4 months), and arrived at the new place at 6:50am. I guess that will work. But, I wanted to cry the whole way, and today was only practice!! How am I going to leave Lil Major for 3 days a week? And HOW am I going to drag my butt out of bed at 5 am 3 days a week?? I know, I know, a lot of other people have it worse, but I'm still dreading it.

So, now on to the child care situation. I don't remember if I've blogged about my dilemma before, and I'm too tired to go look and link back to it...I haven't exactly figured out child care yet. Yeah, it's a little late in the game. See, my mom has recently decided that she might not mind helping me out with the kiddo while I work (it's not full time, after all). The problem is that a big reason why mom and dad retired and moved out here is so that they can travel...for extended weeks at a time. Well, that doesn't work so well for me since I work EVERY week. I have a couple friends that have volunteered to help, but their situations have changed lately, so that's not going to work either. So, I called a couple of home-based day cares that were recommended by friends. One of them is full, one of them decided not to do day care anymore, and the 3rd one hasn't called me back yet.

This is where the panic started to kick in, as well as the thoughts of, "God, are you trying to tell me NOT to work?" I called my MIL to see if she could help me out for a few days where I have gaps in the next few weeks (my mom is taking him the rest of the time). Well, she lives a ways away, and she's got a lot going on, so she told me about a lady in their church who does care out of her home. Within about an hour, MIL and I had both talked to her, and it sounds like she has an opening. I'm set to go meet her and see her house later this morning.

But, I'm still freaked out. Even if MIL knows and trusts this lady, I don't. And I will have to drop off my precious son and leave him with her while I'm gone ALL DAY. My chest is tightening up. Ok, I'm panicking a little prematurely. I need to wait and meet her. And all this is coming from the woman who used to swear that she could NEVER be a SAHM, and thought what was the big deal about day care? Yeah, yeah, add this to my list of things to eat.

And now I'm sitting in a coffee shop, all by myself, blogging to you, drinking my yummy caramel latte...and missing my son. Boy oh boy...has life changed. I dont' know how The Colonel is going to let me leave for 10 days with his son...I wouldn't let him do it! =)

Ok, I'm done with my rant, or whatever it, to reward you for reading this far, I'll leave you with some recent pictures of Lil Major.

Here he is in one of my favorite outfits, getting ready to go to church. This was the last time he'll wear this shirt as it is now a midriff-baring is he growing so fast??

Yesterday, Lil Major, Papa and I hung out on their deck for a little while, enjoying the cool overcast morning...

But, while we were relaxing, poor Mema was doing this...

And then Papa got distracted by this weird sound, so he and Lil Major went to investigate. The sound was a dying cicada (Angel, remember those??), and Papa and Lil Major decided to torture ME with it. If you look really closely, you might be able to see my Dad holding the dying creature in his hand. Notice that my son doesn't seem the least bit fazed...I, on the other hand, was running towards the house screaming. I'm SO in trouble with having a little boy.


Jody said...

Even when I can't wait to get away from my girls I feel empty without them. I couldn't do it. Good luck!

Jana said...

just be glad that you only have to work 3 days a week and you GET to go to an office to do it!! this working from home bit is for the birds!! i work 40 hrs/wk just trying to get 20 PRODUCTIVE work hours out of it!! and then there's NO quality time w/ the boy . . just quick moments of feeing times, diaper changes, and quick saves as he finds things he's not supposed to be into! i'm telling you, this'll be a good thing.

on another note, i wanna know why the heck i'm only seeing pics of my nephew every month or so! have you figured out the camera that i let you borrow?

Band of Brothers said...

5 AM?




Chelf said...

I get it that boys like bugs, but EEEWWW!!! The only good bug is a dead bug, and a dying cicada is not dead enough for me. Ugh.

Lil Major looks totally nonplussed. He is such a cutie!

Rach said...

Oh, I'm so sorry it was such a hard practice run. I'm sure it'll get easier as it becomes your actual routine. Hopefully, being away from Little Major will just make your days off that much more fulfilling. Wishing you the best. :)

Agnes said...

I'm with you. I so do not look forward to having to wake up Hudson to get us out of the house in time. I really wish my babysitters (aka grandmas) would come to my house but I'm not sure that's going to happen. Downside for me - it's everyday. Upside for me - it's only a couple of hours. Hopefully we'll both adjust and it will end up being okay.

I can't wait to meet Lil Major. The pict with him in the plaid shirt is SO CUTE!!! He looks so different!

Love you and can't wait to see you!

Terry said...

I love that you did a practice run!!!

Paulette said...

Love love love the first pic of lil major. So chubby and handsome! I feel for you on the work issue. I am just dreading having to have Ella at school at 7:45 and that's nothing! Nothing can pull on our emotions like parenting does!

Jenn said...

So sorry that you are dealing with all of these emotions...these little precious beings just change your world don't they?? I will be thinking of you this week as you go back to work and I hope it all works out for you and you find your new routine!

Love Bears All Things said...

It is my therory that if something doesn't feel right, don't do it. Maybe your Mom will enjoy keeping 'Lil Major, I think you should still pay her so that you can claim the child care and she will have some extra spending money and feel she has some rights such as she would if she worked for someone else. Since it is only 3 days a week, it won't tie her down too much. I'd see if MIL will keep him when your Mom wants to travel. In the meantime, you might find someone willing to come to your house for a few days whenever she is gone.
I started child care for Ginger when Wonder Boy was a year old. I was working prior to that. I continued until the Princess was a year old, which was about 3 years later. It worked out well and I was so happy to have this bonding with them since I moved away a lttle over a year later.
One thing for sure, anxiety over leaving him will not make either of you Happy.
Mama Bear

~*~Jenni~*~ said...

The first week or two will be hard, I won't sugar coat that at all.

I didn't feel too bad about my kids being in daycare. They developed social skills, made friends, and learned a lot more than I could ever teach them.

Hang in there. You'll get it all figured out.

Eliza said...

I hated it when people would tell me how lucky I am that I have summers off. As if that was enough time with my son and working isn't so bad because "I have summers off". So I'm not going to tell you that you are lucky that it's only 3 days a week or any of that because either way it's time away from your son and it's important to you to be there.

I will tell you this. It does get easier! Trust me on that. Soon you will fall into a new routine and you may even start to like a little time away. Hard to believe I know...but when he starts moving around and is into everything - you may be happy to have a break a few times a week.

You've probably thought of this, but could The Colonel take him to daycare so that you don't have to leave quite so early?

Laura said...

I'm sorry for all your yucky stress. I'll pray for you!

Those pictures of Lil Major are awesome!

CeCe said...

I'll be praying for you tomorrow... and yes, it sucks being away. I "ditto" what Eliza said... just because I have summers off doesn't mean it makes it any easier to leave him during the year! But it is nice to have a day at work to have some time to be an "adult"... by Wednesday I'm usually in agony to be at home with him, so it will be nice that just as you hit that three day agonizing point, you'll have a whole four days off!

I was waking up at 4:45 for the first several months I was back to work because it still took him so long to nurse in the morning. Good luck!!! It is exhausting, but you'll make it!

DraMa said...


However, I got SOOO brave and actually picked up a giant dead one the other day to show my boys. You'll toughen up soon.. you have to with boys:) LOL!