It’s been almost 4 months. Lil Major has grown and changed so much in that time. Almost every day I notice something different about him. And almost every day I see something that reminds me of Gary and Kim – my coffee cup she decorated for me, the fun magnets decorating my kitchen that they gave me, the crazy No Trespassing signs in the garage that used to hang in Kim and Gary’s house, their picture on my bookshelf…
So, why did I cry on my way to work TODAY? Why are those memories and feelings of loss coming back to me NOW?
Maybe it’s delayed. I never took it as hard (on the outside) as Jayme did.
But, I don’t think so. I think that because my son is reaching milestones like crazy right now, it’s making me realize all that he will miss out on by never knowing Auntie Kim and Uncle Gary. I look at pictures of Gary and Kim with their other nieces and nephews. They loved them SO much, and you can see the love on their faces as they hold them. It hurts so much that Lil Major will never have that chance. Uncle Gary will never teach him to say, “Uncle Gary is my favorite uncle.” Auntie Kim will never take the picture of her holding all her nieces and nephews when Lil Major is one of them.
I was going to leave out the tornado story from his baby book. Not that I would hold the story back from him, but just to make the book happier. But, I changed my mind. I want Lil Major to know how special he was to Gary and Kim before they even met him. I’m going to go back and include the story and pictures of Gary and Kim in his baby book.
G&K would be so excited to hear that Lil Major is eating cereal now, and loving it! And that his first tooth is about to pop out – you can feel its pointy edges just breaking through his gum. And that he’s going to crawl ANY day. He gets up onto all fours and rocks back and forth. And how he laughs like crazy when you buzz his neck or tickle his foot or poke his arm pit. I hope that they can look down from heaven and watch their newest nephew as he grows and changes.