I would not be surprised if every one of my friends who became a mom before me came to me and said, “I told you so!” All of those things that I could not understand about pregnancy, labor, becoming a mom, holding your newborn – I now completely understand.
Friends told me that by the end, any fears of labor and delivery were replaced with the feeling of just being done…and ready for that kid to be out. Well, I only made it to 36 weeks and a few days, but I was READY for Lil Major to get here. Especially after sitting in the hospital for 2+ days just waiting for something to happen.
They also told me that ALL modesty went out the window in the labor room. I thought, there’s NO way I’ll feel like that. Yeah, right. By the end, I didn’t care who was in the room as they checked me, or adjusted my catheter, or grabbed my boob to help me nurse. Yeah, the first few hours were a little weird, but after that? What’s the difference anyway? I was uncomfortable, drugged, in pain at times, frustrated, I looked like crap (there are pictures to prove that, but I WILL NOT be posting them here), and I was ready to do whatever I had to to just be able to finally see that little babe.
And when that little guy made his appearance, and I was finally able to hold him and change him and love on him? My heart was full. How can you INSTANTLY love someone? So much? I don’t know, but I did. And I could sit for hours and look at his sweet face, and watch his expressions change and hold his little hand, and kiss all over his body (that is still covered in fur since he came so early). And it hurts to hear him cry and not be able to instantly console him, or to watch him squirm in pain as they poke his little foot for the umpteenth time...and I’ve only known him a week! I didn’t get as emotional as I thought I would when he first came out, but then again, I couldn’t feel anything in my body, I was exhausted, flat on my back, and couldn’t hold him for an hour or so still…but those emotions came on full force, and they are still there.
He’s amazing! And I’m so grateful that he’s here, safe and sound...perfect in my eyes, loved by so many, and truly, a child of God.