Monday, October 22, 2007

The Great Debate

Dr: Are you planning on breastfeeding?
Me: Yes
Dr: If it's a boy, will you want him circumcised?
Me: Yes
Dr: Have you considered if you will want an epidural?
Me: OH YES! I want one!
Dr: Will you be interested in prenatal and birthing classes?
Me: Yes
Dr: Do you want to find out the sex of the baby?
Me: Well...see, we're still --
B: NO! WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW...DON'T LET HER TALK YOU INTO IT!


That's how our conversation went at our appointment 2 weeks ago. I want to find out the sex of our baby as soon as possible. I'm a planner. I don't like surprises (unless I only know about a possible surprise for a couple days, not 6 months!). B wants to be surprised.

I shouldn't be surprised that he wants to be as old fashioned as possible. He is Mr. Anti-Technology (except for having 7 TV's in our house and insisting on HD for sports). Cell phones, ipods, video games, laptops, cameras, GPS -- none of that impresses him. Finding out the sex of our baby - he's not interested. Being in the delivery room to help me and to cut the cord - he's not interested. He should have been born in 1940! He thinks that he'll be outside the hospital smoking a stogie until he's called in to make the announcement that a baby has arrived...and which sex it is.

I could kill him! Some guys insist that they don't want to know the sex ahead of time because it's the one thing that they get to own - they get to tell the families what the baby is...it's their thing (thanks to Daisy for pointing that out to me). If B were to tell me that that is his reason, I might be more understanding...but to just be surprised? No, that doesn't fly with me.

People have suggested that I find out and not tell him. Well, those people must not know me very well...I have the biggest mouth around. I have to try hard and really put my mind to it to keep secrets. I can do it...don't get me wrong, but I love to share good news, and I'm a terrible liar. (No need for those of you who agree with me to fill up my comments with your agreement...thanks!)

Plus, the biggest reason I want to know is that I want to get the nursery ready ahead of time, and I DO NOT want a yellow or green pastel nursery that will work for either sex. Nor do I want to dress my child in yellow or green clothes for the first year of its life. I want a cutesy original unique nursery for our new bundle of joy.

So, saying all that...I have found ONE nursery theme that I actually like that would work for either sex. It's the retro Dick and Jane stuff that is out. There are cute coordinating fabrics that go with it, and everything is in my favorite colors -- red, blue, green, yellow -- primary colors that are a little muted. It's really cute, and I think I could make it work. Here's the only thing. I think I would still use it if I knew it was a boy, but if I knew it was a girl, I would probably go with something girlier, like pink and chocolate brown, or something like that.

The debate continues...we have about 6 or 7 weeks until we have to give the Dr. our decision. B and I are both pretty stubborn, and I can usually wear him down...but should I let him have this one thing? I don't know. I feel like it's a boy...but so did my mom with me. In fact, she went so far as to call me Jeremy while she was pregnant. Boy was she surprised when I popped out. So, who knows what will happen, or what I'm carrying...either I'll know in less than 2 months, or God will have to show me in 6!

13 comments:

shell said...

omg. i could so not wait to find out. i would want to know right away...it's that whole virgo thing that we've got going for us. :) and being a bad liar isn't a bad thing...hee hee!

SueZQue said...

You could be like my mom- they didn't want to know with my brother, but it was so very obvious on the ultrasound- there was no denying it!:-) It did help them to win a bet with one of my uncles though! :-)

SueZQue said...

BTW- the Dick and Jane thing is a great idea! I think it would be great for a boy or girl. You'd better use it now while you "own" the idea- or I might just steal it from you... ;-)

Sally said...

Suez - Are you trying to tell me something??

SueZQue said...

NO... not yet anyway... ;-) Have a doctor's appt tomorrow to find out if I have to have the hernia fixed before we start trying... Which will push it back at least another year...Sigh...I have to remind myself- GOD's timimg- not mine. But I do like that theme- so if you don't use it- it's fair game!

Sally said...

wow! You guys are ready to start trying already?? Don't let Grammy hear that...she won't leave you alone!

And you could still use if even if I do.

SueZQue said...

We haven't talked about it too much other than me saying I would like to be preggers before I'm 30, which is in two years. But like I said, have to find out about the hernia first. It's gotten worse in the lase couple months, and I don't think it would be safe to be pregnant with that there. And if Grammy finds out anything it would come from you- not us ;-). And do you know how much trouble I'm gonna be in if my husband stumbles upon these comments?!?! :-)

shell said...

and besides, I want to know so that I know what to shop for! I'm not waiting until you give birth to shop!!!! :-)

Jana said...

umm . . no comment on the big mouth thing . . however, i can't let this one slide . . . i think you've gotten confused in your old age, because mom and dad named YOU Jason . . . III was Jeremy Michael! And IIII was the one that they were convinced was a boy (everyone except mom and gma ethel) - the dr. argued w/ mom on it until the day i was born - i had the heart rate of a boy . . . just setting things straight for ya. ;) don't worry, i'll be here for you in the years to come, as well. you can count on me to keep you straight :)

Terri said...

boy that great debate is a toughie. The argument goes both ways equally; first one - better to be surprised or first one - better to be prepared. I choose to find out all three times (but they were wrong for #3) and I liked it that way. Rich was easy going about it and let me decide. The thing is tho, men own so little of the pregnancy and birthing that it might do to let B have this one thing. It's definitely not worth a fight. And you could definitely rock the Dick & Jane theme for a boy or girl. Good luck on your decision!

Christine said...

We did it both ways, surprised for Mikayla and found out for Zach. I loved both ways!! It does kinda stink not to be able to buy clothes now, but there is never a gaurantee that little major will show his or her stuff on the day of the u/s. That being said there is so much more to worry about. And even if you do buy clothes that are too cute to pass up and don't get to use them you do have lots of preggo friends to give them to. What would it mean to B if you just went along with him and waited? There is so little for him to do at this point, maybe letting him decide is a way for him to be more involved?? Someone said at Bible study today(I'm doing 'A woman after God's own heart') that God always blesses obedience to Him and blessing your hubby is obedience to God. Sorry if I sound preachy, I just wanted to share what was on my heart.=)

Daisy said...

I agree with Christine. Let B have this w/o a fight. I mean, what does it say that you know you can "usually wear him down"?? You know we waited to know on both kids, but with Renee, the Dr. said that even if we wanted to know, she couldn't tell because R was fast asleep and couldn't be persuaded to move at all during the ultra sound. Throw B for a loop and just smile and say "I'll do it for you, honey, if you promise to cater to my midnight cravings so I don't have to get out of bed!" :)

Chelf said...

My SIL was surprised with both of hers. My only suggestion is to let him have this, and take two outfits for going home, one blue and one pink. And have two names ready.

My DH said he would not be able to stand the curiosity, he would want to KNOW. All the technology and not to know? It would drive him crazy. I have never really decided which way I would choose.

I don't know B, so I don't know how firm this will stay. Just make sure that you don't make it a matter of contention. Happy hubby should not be sacrificed to avoid generic baby decor. Get your baby showers AFTER the birth, or a diaper shower before... then you won't have to suffer so much pastel green and yellow.