The Right Shoes

We went to Orange County this weekend trying to get out of the heat. Saturday we drove down to Tijuana where we had a blast bartering with the locals for "purses, belts, t-shirts". The best quotes of the day were: "come on in gringo, I will rip you off less", "come buy something else you don't need", "it's free to look, no cover charge", "the is a family restaurant...2 for 1 drinks".

I made 2 deals that should make my hubby proud. The first was a joint effort with my mom. We are now the proud owners of matching "Gucci" handbags. The woman wanted $55 each, and Mom and I walked out of there paying $50 for both of them, together!! B taught us well! the second deal was for a stained glass sun catcher with the Philly Eagles logo -- for my cousin. B had been trying to get different vendors to sell it to us for $10...but they wouldn't come below $12 (after starting at $20). Well, while B was braving the restrooms, I found another vendor with the same thing....and I got it for $10!

While the shopping was great in TJ, my real deals were found the night before at Nordstrom Rack, Ann Taylor Loft, and Marshalls -- some of my most favorite stores. I found an adorable wrap dress at AT...not on sale...but couldn't be passed up because it looked SOOO cute on me. Well, of course, I need the cutest shoes to match -- and I'd been wanting new black heels anyway. I found them at Marshalls for only $50. Ok, maybe that doesn't sound like a steal, but they're leather, 4" heels, and regularly $100...and they just make the outfit.

So, the sign I saw in a shop window in Seal Beach says it all: The right shoes can change your life, just ask Cinderella.

I have to add my own touch though...you could ask the same question to Dorothy and probably get the same answer -- fitting, don't you think??

Lesson in what??

So, God is trying to teach me a lesson, I'm sure of it. It's either a lesson in patience, or trust, or giving my troubles to Him or something along those lines. And I KNOW that I have a problem with ALL of these things -- I AM NOT patient, I don't trust easily, I worry about everything.

I am aware of these things and so I make an effort to do what the Bible says -- be patient, trust in God, cast my worries on Him and LEAVE them there (this was even a point in last Sunday's sermon)...but...it's not working!

It's not that I think I can do it better than God...I KNOW I can't! I think it's more about wanting the answers NOW. I'm a planner, I like to know what's coming so I can prepare for it. I'm also a control freak. Ask all my girlfriends...I'm the one who initiates the plans because (1) I want to make sure it gets scheduled, and (2) I have some control over what we do.

That means that I'm going crazy right now! I have to pick a mover, pick a company to transport our cars, sell 2 houses, pack up the house we live in, secure financing for the house we just made an offer on, complete a job here, drive across the country, start a new job, unpack a new house (assuming we can get financing for it), and settle in, calm down, and hopefully get my life in order so we can start trying for a family...see I told you I am a planner.

You're probably thinking...don't let that chick get preggers, she can't handle it...I think my hubby is starting to think that, too.

Funny thing is...in 5 years I'll probably look back on this time and not remember how stressed out I was...at least I hope that's how it is!

God -- give me a hint on how I can be a better follower...I'm stuck!!!

Lazy Sunday

I have a million things to do...and I'm sitting on the couch. It's unbearably hot outside...of course, that's no surprise, it's been that way for over a week now. B woke up early to watch a golf tournament this morning, so I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I went downstairs and curled up on the couch next to him and snoozed for another hour or so. Then we got up and went to church...it was already terribly hot at 9am as we were walking in! Mom left for a conference today, so we went to lunch w/ Dad after church, then ran a couple errands. When we got home, I told myself I would read the paper and then start doing some things around the house...well, reading the paper led to a 2 hour nap, and I didn't get off the couch until 4pm! It did feel good though. Of course, that means that I still haven't done anything on my list...maybe after I finish this posting...

I ended up seeing Devil Wears Prada instead of Dupree the other night. It was the right decision, I think. The movie theater was crawling with teenage punks and all we heard was the F-word over and over again. I think they were all going to see Dupree. So, we marched ourselves into Devil and shared the huge theater with about 20 other ADULTS. (I'm getting so old!). It was a great movie! But, definitely a chick flick...I felt bad for all the guys that had to sit through all the discussions about clothes and shoes and hair. I still want to see Dupree, but I think I'll wait until it comes out on DVD...when did the theaters jack up their prices to $9.50??? Give me the dollar theater!

Tomorrow I will have to explain thousands of times why we're moving and when and what's the whole story. I will be exhausted by the end of the day. At least the story is out now. Although it must have stayed pretty quiet over the weekend because I only got one phone call asking about it. I'm only working 4 days this week because Friday we're driving down south with Dad to meet Mom and spend a couple days on the coast. We'll enjoy cooler weather (hopefully) and take a quick trip into TJ to do some bartering. We got a killer deal online for a hotel...at least I hope it's a killer deal...we'll see when we check in.

Ok, ok, it's time to go get some stuff done.

Weight is Lifted

It's amazing how good you feel after you tell your secrets.

A lot happened today. I accepted the job that was offered to me. We made a counter offer to the counter offer on the house we like. Our house has a lockbox now. I told my boss, his boss, and all my team members that I was moving to KS. It was SOOOO hard to tell my boss and even harder to tell my team. They were so understanding...disappointed but understanding. They are so great, I only hope that someday I can lead such a great team again.

Tonight I'm going to hang out with the girls for a while. We're going to see You, Me & Dupree. None of our hubbys want to see it, so it's just girls. We'll get coffee before and catch up a little. I want to have as many girls nights as I can in the next few weeks, because it will probably be a while until I have one after that...unless it's with my SIL.

Nutcase

No wonder B thinks that California is the land of the fruits and nuts...I've turned into a nutcase!

Is it possible to be happy, scared, sad, excited, grumpy and angry all at the same time??? If it's not, then there is something seriously wrong with me. I'm a mess tonight! B and I are still arguing about stupid stuff (don't they say that one of the most stressful situations for a married couple is moving?). He thinks I'm being mean...I probably am, but not intentionally. He keeps throwing out comments that he thinks I've changed my mind and don't want to move...I haven't. But, I am starting to realize all that I'm going to miss, and the time is getting shorter. I had a blast at work today (even though I was swamped), and I went to Happy Hour with my department after work -- tons of fun! I'll have to start all over at a new company...yada, yada, yada.

I got all teary eyed when I talked to a girlfriend on the phone tonight while we were making plans for tomorrow. She told me how sad she was that we were leaving, and I couldn't even say goodbye when we finished talking.

Please, God, give me some signal that we're making the right decision by moving to KS! And quick...I have a deadline (ever the demanding chick!).

Too Much!!

I don't even know where to start! There is WAY too much going on right now. Too much to think about, too much to plan, too much to do, too much change, too much tightness in my chest!

I have spent the majority of my day (while I'm supposed to also get my work done) on the phone and email trying to negotiate my job offer, getting quotes for moving (how the heck am I supposed to know how many boxes I need to pack up my stuff???).

And B is making it way more stressful, of course, he says I'm stressing myself out. I'm getting irritated...he's not working right now (at a job), he IS working around the house and helping my mom (and golfing and watching TV and sleeping), so I asked him to get some quotes on moving. He refuses to get quotes for packing our stuff b/c he says we can do that ourselves. Well, yes, we CAN do it ourselves, but I DON'T WANT TO. I want this to be as easy as possible, and I want someone else who is a professional packer to pack our stuff so it doesn't get broken. I know that I will pack it so it doesn't break, but I don't think B will be as careful, and I don't want to take the time to do it. I would rather spend my last weeks spending time with friends that packing boxes. Not to mention that it will take us WAY longer to pack up that a mover, and our house will be in disarray for days or weeks, meanwhile, we're trying to show the house so we can sell it.

Our relocation package is a lump sum payment, so he wants to spend as little as possible, and pocket the rest. I don't disagree, but I don't want to kill myself for a couple thousand dollars!!!

This can't be good for my health! My heart is pounding, I'm stressed out...where's the nearest martini bar??

Guilt sucks!

I'm feeling a little guilty now knowing that I will be leaving my current job. I have been a department manager for the last year, but I FINALLY got team members in my department. I've had one or 2 for the last year, but now my department has 5 members (including me). We just had our first department meeting. It was great!

I can stop telling people NO when they ask for help, because now I have resources to do all the work. I feel bad knowing that I set this all up, and then I will leave them without a leader. They are all very dedicated and motivated, so they will be fine, but this is what I have worked towards for over a year...building my department. I guess I completed my goal...the department is established...I just won't be around to see all the great things they will go on to do.

Stink!!

What a difference a day makes

Wow!! How quickly things can change!

Sunday night we got home from KS, Tuesday I had a job offer, Friday I have to give them an answer, and they want me start in 2.5 weeks! I'm not sure I'm ready for all this yet.

Since we got back to town, we've scheduled a realtor to come look at our house and give us advice on pricing, etc., we've made an offer on a house in KS, we've started to get quotes on moving our stuff east, and I've realized that there is nowhere within about a 12 hour drive that will get me out of the heat in KS during the summer (besides my A/C in the house)...here we can be at the Pacific ocean in 2 hours to cool off.

What am I getting myself into???

Here are the good things...we can pay cash for a house out there, we can start trying for a family, we'll be closer to B's family, mom and dad will move there evenually and then all of my family will be in the midwest and south, shopping and restaurants are better there, air is 100% better and cleaner...I guess it's not so bad.

Whirlwind (or should I say "Tornado") Weekend

We went to KS this weekend for interviews. B had 3, and I had 1 (with a company I've been talking to for a while). Because we booked at different times, we were on separate flights, separate airlines. The interviews went well for both of us, and we had a good weekend for the most part. We looked at some houses, saw 2 movies, surprised his parents, and surprised his bro and wife at the airport (they were getting back from GA, so we sat and had a snack with them while we waited for our flights). Besides it being SUPER hot, we had a fun and productive weekend...until...

I went to my gate to board my plane, and while I waited I took my sweater out of my backpack to carry on the plane with me. I always get cold. Well, somehow I left my sweater sitting on the chair, and I didn't notice it until we up in the air...so it was too late to call B (who was sitting at the airport at another gate waiting for his plane). I froze on that flight, but I managed to find a blanket -- which I took with my for my 2nd flight (is that stealing??). I made my connection just fine, in fact, I flew out of the same gate I flew into (why couldn't that have happened on the way out when I had 15 minutes to run from gate to gate??). I landed on time, and after waiting 25 minutes for my bags to travel about 50 yards from the plane to the baggage claim area, I met mom and dad on the curb. They took me to their house to pick up my car, and then I was on my way home.

It was 11:40 pm, and I had 1 hour to shower, unpack and then head BACK to the airport to pick up B. Well, 5 minutes from my house, I came across a train that was blocking the road...not moving...so I turned around and backtracked and finally pulled into our driveway a few minutes later. I unloaded the bags (I had checked B's so he wouldn't have to wait for his for 25 minutes at 1am), and went to open the door to greet my puppies...BUT, the door was locked!! We NEVER lock the door from the garage to the house, but our housesitter had...and I had NO key!! I know, I know, I should have a key to my own house, but we're short on spares these days, and I had left mine out for the cleaning people, and it was in the house. I was locked out of my own house!

I called mom and dad...and after calling all their numbers they finally answered. After some whining from me, they finally agreed to bring the key to me, instead of making me drive back there. So, at midnite, I finally got into my house. The dogs had been so upset that they could hear me but I couldn't get to them that they started digging to see me under the fence, so now before I could take my own shower, I had to wash the dogs...at midnite...which is really 2am central time...which is what time my body thought it was.

So, dogs are clean, I'm clean, some of my bag is unpacked, and I'm back in the car at 12:40am on my way to the airport...but not until I wait for 5 minutes at the railroad crossing for another train. 3 miles from the airport, what do I come across??? ANOTHER TRAIN! Who knew trains were so active at 1am! I made it to the airport, and here came B, right on time. We made it home (with no more interactions with trains, thank goodness!), and I took out my contacts and fell into bed, at 1:30am.

5 hours and 17 minutes later, my alarm screamed at me to get out of bed and go to work. I'm usually at work by 7am, but this morning was a different story...I got up late, and had to make B get out of bed also so we could go pick up his car at the shop, where it had spent the weekend. I rolled into work at 7:50...and I'm still not awake!

Maybe B and I will get job offers this week...that will help make up for our exhausting day yesterday!

CA girl meets KS boy

Another reason for blogging is that my life is changing drastically right now...let me explain...

I met my husband (let's call him B) 7 years ago at work. I really didn't notice him for several months as he is very quiet and keeps to myself. I'm a very outgoing, social butterfly, so I spent my time with people like that. I used to see B at the gym every morning before work (we worked 2nd shift at the time), and one day he asked if I would like to go swim at his friend's house with him after our workout. I thought, hey, sounds like a good idea, it's hot outside, we could become friends. I had NO idea he was asking me out. The pool day was fun, and a week or so later he invited me over to his house for dinner. STILL, I thought we were just friends...I had heard he had a girlfriend who lived a couple hours away, and I had just ended a pretty serious relationship, so I wasn't looking for anything anyway. WELL, I know better now. Dinner was a success, we put in a movie to finish the evening, and before I knew it, big B laid a big fat wet one on me. I was so surprised! And, I loved it!

For the next couple months, we dated, but it seemed like we were just having fun...after all, he still had that girlfriend a couple hours away. About 2 months later, I was getting attached, and he STILL HAD THAT GIRLFRIEND A COUPLE HOURS AWAY. He would disappear for the weekends occasionally and not say anything to me. One Sunday night, he re-appeared and asked me to come over. I'd had it...I told him I had to clean my house (almost as bad as saying I had to wash my hair, right?). He said, ok, but then I guess I can't tell you my news...well, the news turned out to be that he had told other GFriend to HIT THE ROAD.

From then on, we were together, committed, and happy...most of the time.

About 6 months later, B decided that he needed a better job, and it would take him away from where we were living (which just happened to be my hometown). We had started to talk about getting married, so this decision would impact both of us.

I guess now is the right time to write a little about his history. He grew up in small town Kansas under the VERY strict supervision of his minister dad and mom. He attended a Christian college at his parents insistence, and when he graduated he promptly enlisted in the USMC. Hoo Rah! Well, an enlisted college grad draws some attention, and it wasn't long before he was asked to become an officer. 6 years later, he finished his service in San Diego, and landed a job in the San Joaquin valley of CA...where I was living and had grown up.

Ok, so as he's looking for a new job, it's NOT IN CA! But, I was lost in love, and told him I would follow him wherever he went...which turned out to be East Texas (in other words, the end of the earth). I knew he was THE ONE for me, so he landed a job in TX, proposed, and moved away all in about 1 week. 3 months later we were married and I joined him in TX.

Poor guy thought he had escaped the left wing non-English speaking left coast (as he calls it) for good. But, the CA girl got homesick and depressed and turned into an overall brat (I'm talking about me in case I lost you along the way). So, 15 months later, we packed it up and moved back home...my home, that is. I was oblivious, I thought he was as happy as I was living in the desert of the southern central valley of CA. Having grown up there, I saw it through different eyes. My best buddies were there, mom and dad were there, my bro and sis were there for a while. I ran into people at the store that I knew from my school days. I knew how to get ANYWHERE in town. B saw a cess-pool (his words again) filled with illegal immigrants, dusty cars, no rain, no trees, terrible air, and overpriced everything.

Well, it's been over 4 years since we came back to CA, and I think reality is somewhere between how I see it and how he sees it. We were lucky...we bought our house when the market was low, so the high prices haven't hurt us much. But, my house is NEVER without dust, we are surrounded my mountains on 3 sides and only see them about 5 times a year, I REFUSE to shop at Wal Mart because I feel like I'm in another country to the south of us, I'm afraid to go outside after 8am because I may contract valley fever or asthma, and those left wing, gay rights supporting, give the illegals a drivers license politicians are taking over.

Wow, has that midwest boy opened my eyes!

Long story to get to the present...but finally, we're in present time. For the last 4 months, we've been searching for gainful employment in the great state of Kansas. Whoever thought I would end up in KS?? From my rantings above, maybe you could...after all, my blog is called Midwest Girl at Heart.

I'll leave the choice about KS and how it wasn't all that surprising to me that I would end up there to another posting...I think this one is long enough!

How did this happen?

Ok, so I guess I should explain what I'm doing here, starting a blog. Well, it seems to be the latest thing, and I guess after posting comments on a few other blogs over the last year, it's about time I start my own. I don't spend hours poring over postings by others...I just have a few blogs I visit daily...and to be honest, 2 of my favorite ones have gone by the wayside.

I used to write in a journal, but, come on, in this day and age, I can get my thoughts out a lot more quickly by typing than by writing by hand. I used to LOVE to write silly short stories, but now I would prefer to read a story written by someone else (hence the interest in blogs by others). I'm hoping that God graces my hubby and I with a baby (actually 2, I want twins!) in the next year, so this is a great avenue to capture all of their silly escapades. And let's be honest...if it's the cool thing to do, I've got to try it myself.

So, here I am...writing my own blog.

Pedicures!!

I just had the BEST pedicure I've EVER had, EVER!!I'm in KS still, and B had an interview this morning, so since we only have one car, I decided to walk across the street to get a pedicure. This older lady walked in right behind me and only wanted a polish change, so when the tech was filling the tub for my pedi, I told her she could just let me soak and do the polish change if she wanted. Well, the lady ended up wanting a polish change for feet and hands, so I got to sit there for about 30 minutes soaking my feet in the tub, feeling a GREAT massage from the chair and reading my smut magazine (I love those!!). When the tech finally got to me, she did a great job...she didn't rush, she scrubbed off all my calluses (sp?), she massaged my legs up to my knees and put that tingling stuff on them...and she WAS NOT wearing gloves. I hate when they wear gloves. She even made sure to put cream on my heels. They always forget about my heels. Then she put my flip flops back on before she painted (what a novel idea), and then she wrapped my legs in hot towels while she painted my toes. It was so nice! I will have to remember this place when we move here.This afternoon we're going to look at houses again. We drove around town yesterday and didn't see any other neighborhoods we liked besides the one we'd already found. There's one house in particular that I really like, and B likes the pictures, but he hasn't seen it in person yet. So, we're going to see that house and all the other ones for sale in the same neighborhood. Then tonight we're going to try to go out with his buddy from high school. He and his girlfriend just had a baby, so we can see the kid, too.Tomorrow, we're going to just show up at B's dad's church and surprise his parents. His mom will start crying...they don't know we're here.I would also like to make it across town to Ann Taylor and Banana before we leave...but that may not happen.