So, God is trying to teach me a lesson, I'm sure of it. It's either a lesson in patience, or trust, or giving my troubles to Him or something along those lines. And I KNOW that I have a problem with ALL of these things -- I AM NOT patient, I don't trust easily, I worry about everything.
I am aware of these things and so I make an effort to do what the Bible says -- be patient, trust in God, cast my worries on Him and LEAVE them there (this was even a point in last Sunday's sermon)...but...it's not working!
It's not that I think I can do it better than God...I KNOW I can't! I think it's more about wanting the answers NOW. I'm a planner, I like to know what's coming so I can prepare for it. I'm also a control freak. Ask all my girlfriends...I'm the one who initiates the plans because (1) I want to make sure it gets scheduled, and (2) I have some control over what we do.
That means that I'm going crazy right now! I have to pick a mover, pick a company to transport our cars, sell 2 houses, pack up the house we live in, secure financing for the house we just made an offer on, complete a job here, drive across the country, start a new job, unpack a new house (assuming we can get financing for it), and settle in, calm down, and hopefully get my life in order so we can start trying for a family...see I told you I am a planner.
You're probably thinking...don't let that chick get preggers, she can't handle it...I think my hubby is starting to think that, too.
Funny thing is...in 5 years I'll probably look back on this time and not remember how stressed out I was...at least I hope that's how it is!
God -- give me a hint on how I can be a better follower...I'm stuck!!!